They Actually Care

Last week I had the opportunity to come back to the ranch and share my life story. I was surprised by how emotionally connected I was to my experiences. This was not my first time sharing my story but it was the first time I shared it with hope and love. Although I was nervous I was not afraid. So much of my life has been lived out of fear. I was in a state of constant anxiety that I was not going to live up to the expectations that I projected others had of me. I was afraid if I made a mistake that I was going to fail for the rest of eternity. As all of you know I have been in treatment for four years. For half of my treatment career, I was terrified if I disobeyed staff I would be put on a protocol. If I disagreed with my treatment team then something was wrong with me. I was not an independent thinker. I was going to agree with what everyone said because it was safe. Even though it was safe, it was not secure. Last weekend I was listening to a church leader speak at a conference about how motivating people with fear is superficially effective but deeply detrimental. This man his name is Dieter Uchtdorf, is not a therapist, he is a pilot, so what does he know about the adult attachment model? Quite a lot actually, he expressed that “People who are fearful may say and do the right things…” He said, “Fear rarely has the power to change our hearts, and it will never transform us into people who love…” I repeat, “Fear rarely has the power to change our hearts.” I can not express the deep gratitude I have towards everyone from the graveyard staff, to Nikki Preece the influential badass who turned this place from a facility into a home. Every single person who works here even if have a tendency to dislike you sometimes, I am so thankful for. I am thankful that you choose to open your hearts to us, that you show up every single day and give your all so that maybe just maybe we can have a successful life. I have been to many programs but there is something special about the staff here. I can genuinely say I know you care, even when we don’t. You open your arms for us when we want to push you away. You do so even when we don’t appreciate you. And this is what makes you all so so special. I don’t care if you work at the ranch, transition, redwood, or cherry blossom. You are here, you are loved, and you are appreciated. Thank you. One more thing the Uchtdorf said last weekend was, They want to change our hearts…they want this for us because they love us and because this is the way to happiness. Well, he did not say they, he said He because he was talking about God…but I will say they because for me this quote 100% accurately described my experience at Fulshear. I will always be grateful for my other programs, the saved my life- but this one, this one changed my life. I have worked so hard, but I have not worked hard alone. Helaine, I think it is safe to say I would not be sitting here today without you. Your kindness and compassion is inspiring and if you had not had the empathy to let me get on the phone with (past client) and talk to her, I am not sure where my life would be. You are the ultimate Healthy Strong and Influential woman and I love you so so much. Nicole, I can not express how much I am going to miss you. You have been the perfect amount of fun, mean and supportive I needed. I know I like to beat you up when I feel anxious or when I feel connected to you but I really do love you and I think you are awesome. Brooke, you have taught me more than any teacher in a classroom has or could ever have. Even though at first I did not think I needed you, I really have. You were the one who broke me out of my shell. You were the one who helped me shift into my core meaning. You were the one who taught me who I was. Even though my life skills were not learning how to do laundry, and learning how to create a schedule the life skills you taught me are so personal and so deep that I think I needed you more than any of us could have ever thought possible….

Believe it or not, the speech continued to thank even more people who influenced my life there. This is not an easy program you have to work hard every day even when you want to give up. There were times where I wanted to leave, there were times where I was pushed beyond what I thought I was capable of. Fulshear has confidence in every single young lady who drives through those gates at the ranch that they can do well in this program. Fulshear NEVER gave up on me. Fulshear is a safe and secure place. And I thank them every day for all they do. Do yourself, your family, or your daughter a favor choose Fulshear. They know what they are doing and beyond that, they ACTUALLY CARE.